5. Vince Coleman
During the pregame warm-ups before Game 4 of the 1985 National League
Championship Series, the speedy Coleman suffered a bizarre injury when
the machine that rolled up the tarp caught his leg. He would be trapped
for a good 30 seconds, suffering knee and leg injuries that would knock
him out for the rest of the preseason. Coleman would be involved in
another dumb sports-related injury later in his career — though not as a
victim but rather as a cause — when as a member of the New York Mets he
injured pitcher Dwight Gooden by swinging a golf club in the team’s
clubhouse in 1993.
4. Tony Allen
Basketball players like to show off. We all know that. But somebody,
somewhere needed to tell Boston Celtics guard Allen that there’s a time
and a place for everything. In January 2007, Allen was on the floor
playing in the final minutes of a big Boston loss to the Indiana Pacers.
The referee blew the whistle, and Allen
went to the hoop to throw down an impressive dunk. Of course, when he
landed following his meaningless basket, he came down awkwardly and
wound up blowing out both the ACL and MCL in his knee. Whoops.
Fortunately for him, it didn’t wind up being a career ending injury, as
Allen did see action for the Celtics in 2007-08 — which officially makes
it okay for all of us to point and laugh at the sheer stupidity of his
pointless display of machismo.
3. Joel Zumaya
As a rookie in 2006, Detroit Tigers pitcher Zumaya set the league on
fire, literally, with the amazing and consistent velocity of his
fastball. However, he would miss three games during the American League
Championship Series due to inflammation in his pitching arm. Makes
sense, considering how hard he throws, right? True, only that’s not why
he was hurt. No, the real reason for the injury, it was later revealed,
was an overdose of the Guitar Hero video game. While the team asked
Zumaya to stop and he was fine for the World Series, the fact is that
this genius put his team’s playoff success at risk so he could sneak in a
little extra PlayStation time. Then again, who’s to say we wouldn’t
have done the same thing? After all, Guitar Hero is a pretty kick-ass
game.
2. Gus Frerotte
In 1997, Frerotte was the starting quarterback for the Washington
Redskins and fresh off a Pro Bowl season. Washington was 6-5 heading
into their Sunday Night game against the New York Giants on November 23,
and Frerotte scored the game’s first touchdown on a one-yard run in the
second quarter. So how did he celebrate? By ramming his head into a
padded cement wall in the back of the end zone. He left the game
following the self-inflicted injury and was replaced by backup Jeff
Hostetler. The game ended in a 7-7 tie, and depending upon who you ask,
Frerotte either suffered a concussion or a strained neck as a result of
the incident. I don’t remember for sure, and I’m pretty certain ol’ Gus
doesn’t either.
1. Bill Gramatica
When your sole claim to fame as a professional athlete is the manner in
which you gave yourself a serious injury, you’re pretty much a lock to
top a list like this. Such is the case with former Arizona Cardinals
kicker Bill Gramatica, who on December 15, 2001, kicked a 42-yard field
goal in the first half of a game against the New York Giants. So happy
with this accomplishment was Gramatica that he began inexplicably
leaping up and down with joy, and promptly tore his ACL in the process.
The whole thing played out like a Monty Python routine, with puzzled and
bemused football fans watching on at home wondering just what the hell
this little half-pint kicker was doing. Without a doubt, this is THE
dumbest sports injury of all time, bar none.
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