5. Unemployment Championship
The increasing ranks of the unemployed today aren’t just sitting around
the house feeling sorry for themselves. A group of the recently
job-deprived gathered in New York City’s East Village on Tuesday, March
31 2009, for an event described as the Unemployment Olympics. A laid-off
computer programmer came up with the idea to lift spirits of the
jobless. Some 20 contestants took part in events such as Pin The Blame
On The Boss, Office Phone Skee-Ball, Office Phone Pinata, and the
“You’re Fired!” race to the cardboard Unemployment Office. Phone
Skee-Ball, where an old office phone was tossed across the park for
points, drew much fanfare and even had students from P.S. 34 cheering
participants on. Phone Pinata, which involved hitting a pinata with an
office phone, only took two strikes to burst. Unfortunately, the much
anticipated Fax Toss, which reminded everyone of the infamous scene in
Office Space, was canceled at the last moment due to Parks Department
concerns over tossing large office equipment around.
High heel race is an unusual event, which is held in many cities, such
as Sydney, Paris, Moscow and Amsterdam. But the citizens of Milan were
lucky most of all – not every day the winner of such race gets a couple
of delicious, lust luxury open-toe sandals from Manolo Blahnik.
Up to 300 girls took part at this competition who must overcome a
distance of 80 m running on high heels. The heels should be a minimum 7
cm height and 1.5 cm in diameter. All these fashion sacrifices make only
with the aim to get a pair of sandals from the shoe master Manolo
Blanik. The winner in the Milan race was not single, but three which
means that these three lucky women became the owner of the most elegant
heels in the world.
3. Wolf-whistle Contest
These days, any builder foolhardy enough to wolf-whistle at a passing
woman is likely to get a slap in the face for his trouble – but not in
County Fermanagh town. In 2009 Irvinestown played host to Ireland’s
first ever wolf-whistling championships, complete with scaffolding, hard
hats, and plenty of women. The men of the town were more than eager to
show their appreciation of the fairer sex, eagerly donning hard hats and
lining up along the pavement to demonstrate their whistling skills.
They had a lot to whistle for. Part of the annual Lady of the Lake
Festival, the parade through the streets was led by 2009 year’s ‘lady’,
beautician Claire Timlin. The politically incorrect competition was the
work of festival organizer, and whistling devotee, Joe Mahon. Joe’s
years of experience stood him in good stead when asked to pick a winner
out of the fine whistles in competition in Irvinestown.
Mahon chose a married man, local butcher Stephen Millar, as the champion
wolf-whistler who, like Mahon, credits the technique for getting him a
wife.
2. Hot Water Bottle Nose Bust Competition
In 2009 during a competition in Tbilisi, Georgia, 18-year-old Jemal
Tkeshelashvili managed to burst three hot rubber bottles. One in 23
seconds, the second in 16 seconds, and his last bottle in only 13
seconds. He even blew one up while a man sat on top of it. He set a new
record for the quickest burst at 13 seconds.
The previous record for blowing up a standard hot water bottle until it
bursts was 51.98 seconds set by Brian Jackson from the United States in
April 2006.
1. Gurning Competition
Gurning contests are a rural English tradition. By far the most notable
that is held annually at the Egremont Crab Fair, which dates back to
1267 when King Henry III granted the fair a Royal Charter. The origins
of the gurning competition itself are unclear, and may not be so old,
although it was described as an ancient tradition by local newspaper the
Cumberland Paquet in 1852. The competitions are held regularly in some
villages, with contestants traditionally framing their faces through a
horse collar — known as “gurnin’ through a braffin’.” The World Gurning
Championship takes place annually at the same crab fair in Egremont,
Cumbria. Those with the greatest gurn capabilities are often those with
no teeth, as this provides greater room to move the jaw further up. In
some cases, the elderly or otherwise toothless can be capable of
spectacular gurns covering the entire nose.
Peter Jackman became England’s best-known gurner, winning the world
championship four times, beginning in 1998 with a face called the “Bela
Lugosi.” He had his teeth removed in 2000 to make his features easier to
manoeuvre. Three years later, he died playing golf in Spain when a
cliff face collapsed underneath him. ‘Rubber Faced’ Grant Owens then
took the vacant crown by performing the unprecedented, and rarely seen,
treble gurn. Owens states the reason for this is his extra large bottom
lip which he used to be able to nestle polos in when he was a child.
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